How I Became a Typical American Cafeteria Catholic

We were married a few weeks later in a Church of Christ – not because we had any affiliation with them but someone recommended them, and we didn’t really care one way or another, except for some reason, it had to be in a church. I’m sure I thought my Mother would’ve killed me otherwise. My Dad would've had a heart attack. We never darkened the door of the United Church of Christ after our nuptuals on Groundhog's Day, 1991.

It was official: we were practicing Nothings. We bought a house, had a baby. And of course, my entire life changed. I knew, without question, that my husband and I and our new baby girl needed a common and united Faith. And I knew my husband would never leave the Catholic Church because I didn’t know enough about my own faith to get him out of there. And I also knew that they had made quite a bit of sense during those few months that I attended the RCIA program.

We were actually living closer to another Catholic Church in another town. So I gathered my courage and picked up the phone and called to see when their RCIA classes were starting. And it just so happened to be that very night! So I hired a babysitter and we went and I actually walked into the third Catholic Church I had ever been in.

There were differences this time, though. For one thing, I didn’t tell my Mother. The last thing in the world I needed was her whispering in my ear again, making me anxious. And secondly, I had an open heart. If there was any possible way for me to reconcile myself to the Catholic Church, I needed to make it happen. Unity of Faith was of critical importance to me because I didn’t have it growing up. My Mama raised us in the Christian Church but my Dad was a non-practicing Baptist.

She did the best she could but there were a lot of mixed messages. Mom quoted scripture a lot – usually whenever we were in trouble, to point out “the Bible says” to get us back in line. Dad, on the other hand, would fly in a rage on Sunday morning because we woke him up as we bickered over the bathroom as we got ready and were dragged off to church. This lack of unity in faith on behalf of my parents had a huge impact on me, and is one of the reasons why I fight for unity within the Body of Christ today.

After nine months of RCIA classes, I was Confirmed in the Catholic Church at Easter Vigil 1992. Our baby daughter was Baptized a week later in a ceremony that my Father and maternal Grandfather refused to attend.

Let me not kid you – I was now a Catholic in Name Only. I didn’t believe everything the Catholic Church teaches. I didn’t understand the Eucharist. I didn’t buy into the whole Mary thing. And I certainly didn’t think there was a place called Purgatory. But I felt that these were not “salvation” issues and didn’t really anticipate any great changes in my life anyway. After all, I had married a Typical American Cafeteria Catholic. My husband was ignorant of his Faith and the only teaching I had, had been through RCIA, which was minimal at best. So we went on our merry, non-practicing Catholic way and were happy all the way around. Don’t get me wrong – we went to Mass, occasionally. But that was about it.

I didn’t know any other way to be Catholic other than the way I was living it. But to tell you the truth, it wouldn’t have mattered if we were Catholic or Methodist or anything in between, to me, as long as we were united.

We were united in our non-practice of Catholicism.