Privacy Please!

One thing that I still desperately need, however, is my privacy. I live in a world that is hostile to Catholics. There are very few Catholics in my city and surrounding communities. About a year ago, someone from the Sonlight Forums became my own personal stalker. She asked me for private information about myself on the Forum and when she didn’t get what she wanted, she found me through an obscure connection through a mutual friend from three years ago. For some reason, she felt driven to discover who I was in real life. Interestingly enough, she lives only two streets over.

Throughout this two year experience of intense study, I find myself no longer being a Closet Catholic, at least in real life. But the attacks still come and oftentimes are directed at my children.

My way of avoiding these problems has been to get very involved in my local parish, where it's safe. At the very time that I began my journey as DixieMom on the Sonlight Forums, an acquaintance called out of the blue and started asking me questions about the Catholic Church (so much for my hiding). Within a matter of six weeks, she made the decision to convert to the Catholic Church, which included bringing in her entire family – husband and three children. It was one of the most exciting times of my life!

This spurred me on to learn more. I decided to take the Advanced Catechist Training offered by my Bishop and in December, 2005 became certified to teach and facilitate on behalf of Archbishop Wilton Gregory in the Archdiocese of Atlanta! In addition, I accepted a Facilitator position for RCIA and became the Coordinator for Adult Education in my parish.

So this is where I am today – still learning. Yes, it’s been a long, hard road to fully embrace Rome. And I am still not always comfortable in my Catholic skin. I often find myself taking off my glasses to make sure I’m looking through my Catholic pair and not my weaker, Protestant lenses.

And I still find that I cannot articulate what I believe and why when I’m under fire. When I’m in a one-on-one situation, or in a totally safe environment like Sonlight Catholic, I have no problem explaining the Catholic Faith to the best of my ability. But stick me in the fire and I get this sick feeling in the pit of my stomach and feel shaken to my core.

And I'm certain it has to do with being cut off at my roots by those whom I love -- family and Protestant friends. What they don't understand -- and they don't want to understand -- is I have not rejected the faith of my youth, I've fulfilled it. I am not angry or ashamed of my Protestant roots. My roots into the Body of Christ have gone deeper as a result of becoming Catholic.

I am not an in-your-face Catholic with Protestants that I know, either in real life or in Internet life. I am an on-fire Catholic -- but think of me as a smouldering one!