What Was I Thinking?

I cannot believe what has happened!

When was it -- just a few short entries ago, that I swore I could not be Catholic on the Sonlight Forum? I didn't want to do this -- go head-to-head with someone like mr. bean (yes, all lower case), nor did I ever think I would actually be able to answer some of his questions and even sound like I know what I'm talking about!

What is WRONG with me?

And I have felt such peace come over me. I'm sitting here, way past my bedtime, eyes burning, back aching, so tired I can hardly keep my eyes open, and yet I feel renewed.

When I went to bed last night, I had a crick in my neck and my mind was busy with these latest Faith attacks by mr. bean and I remember thinking, "I'm being sent in another direction." And another thought, "You can't go back."

And tonight, I had courage -- I can only believe that it came from the Holy Spirit. And I had peace, too, a peace I can't even describe. I think it's because I knew it was the right thing to do. And the other piece of it -- the piece about what I know, and have internalized about my Faith -- seems to have come together as in "critical mass" -- a force that can't be stopped.

I'm writing this down now, so as to remind myself of what it feels like. I might wake up in the morning and want to crawl back in my safe place and hide!

And I'll say, "What was I thinking?"